.Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says, “I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.” He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.The next guy came up and said, “I cheated on my wife a lot.” He gets a scooter.Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.He asked, “Why are you crying you have such a nice car?” and the man sobbed, “My wife just went by on roller skates.”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer:. There is something about rubbing a mans cock like that that really turns me on. he started kissing my neck and whispering in my ear what he was going to do. I normally do not kiss men but when he turned me around and gave me a deep long kiss I melted and accepted his tongue into my mouth. I had never let a man do that before but I thought. "his cock will be in there shortly why not let his tongue as well" I was so correct about his cock because as soon as the thought passed I felt pressure on my shoulders pushing me to my knees. Here I was on my knees in front of a black man I had met less than an hour ago, dressed like a cheap slut. I had not planned or even thought about doing anything tonight, My wife would start to worry if I was very late. She knows I have done things and I have permission to do things with men in the future as well but I am supposed to let her know in advance if possible and if not I have to tell her as soon as I can. Looks like this will be one that I tell her.
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